Bloody Hell! Why the bus driver so careless? I did nothing wrong! Not my fault!!!!! Why must I have to suffer because of other people’s negligence?
Well, many at times, our fingers will always point outwards and blame everybody and everything under the sky. Why I so stupid? It is because my genes are of a lousy source – I am blaming my parents.
Yes! It is always that so easy to blame others rather than yourself. It is everybody’s fault that caused you to be who and what you are.
This in Yin practice is known as “Playing Safe”.
Playing safe is when you are in your comfort zone, avoid change and just settle for less than what we are capable of achieving. The Biggest factor or ingredient in this Playing Safe is FEAR.
What is FEAR?
FEAR is scared – scared of being in a dangerous situation and the perception of getting hurt, harmed or pain.
In yin context, FEAR = Fear Eats Away Reality.
When you are in FEAR, you will always want to go into hiding, running away, etc. and lead to a change in your behavior. As such, you will shy away from reality and return back to your current comfort zone and remain unchanged.
The next thing you will do is to give excuses after excuses.
Let me give you example to illustrate.
I was wheelchair bound then. Doctors certified me to be permanent disabled. How comfortable and nice it is just for me to sit back on my wheelchair and just point fingers and blame everyone except myself and keep on ruminating in the past.
With this, I am in my comfort zone and will not take the risk of getting myself injured again by trying to walk again. And when people ask me why I do not want rehab or learn to walk again, I will just easily come out with excuses to shut them up.
The ultimate excuse would be Doctors already confirmed that I am permanent disabled and that’s no point for me to try. Furthermore, you are not me and as such you cannot understand my situation and pain. However, I will live on with my life on the wheelchair.
Reality is if I try, there is a possibility that I am able to walk again. Because Fear Eats Away reality and if I stay in my comfort zone, I would not have gone to Karate or join what triathlon, etc. to make the change and there would be no hope of recovery when in reality if I was to train hard, I would be able to walk again.
And one best method in Playing Safe is “NATO” – No Action Talk Only.
I would then say : Well, I will try karate; I will exercise more, I will go MMA, I will go karate, etc. Then, I will sit on my wheelchair and still say all the above. And when you tell me that all these are dangerous and I might hurt myself, I would happily and gracefully agreed with you and this makes NATO.
So next time if you want to point fingers at others, keep in mind that it is the easiest way out and you are blaming others for the reason that you want to be in your comfort zone and fear of the reality.
Hence, a Yin fighter should never point fingers at others and blame others. We must take responsibility of what and who we are.
And NEVER take the easy path. That’s the spirit of a Yin Fighter! Look forward and no excuses should be given for whatsoever reason or stuff that had done.
A fighter is one who also takes risk and faces reality.
So how to move on from here?