Why Sexual Assault and Can I teach Self Defence

Today’s journal is written and dedicated to Eileen.

We were chit chatting last night and she asked me why sexual assault. And I decided to write a journal on this topic.

And furthermore, many also asked me (in disbelief) whether am I sure that I can conduct a self defence workshop.

So this journal will tackle on these 2 issues.

Well, this is journal because it is based on my personal point of view(s) and not on my experiences and not based on any Yin Feng Shui principles.

Experiences have a little la – I or Master Fong has few clients (who had been through sexual assault) under my “care and help”. I have talked and helped them out of darkness because Yin practitioners and Asuras are in darkness and we don’t welcome people to come into our world so gotta push them up and back to the bright bright world.

There are similarities between victims of accident (that I went through) and victims of sexual assault. Both suffered post trauma stress disorder (story 112. Spin-off – Post Trauma Stress Disorder) and below is the WORST part that made us even down and pushes us deeper and deeper into depression.

Sexual Assault (or accidents like mine) may usually just only one time but to victims, it occurs many times.

Let me illustrate using an example.

Using mathematical formula, we let Girl A be a victim of a rape case.

Yes, this Girl A had been through just one time of rape.

Well, Post Trauma Stress Disorder would let this Girl A go through being raped again and again psychologically and this is not the end. There is something even more worse than this.

Let’s say Girl A reports her rape case to the authorities (e.g. police) – She had to described to them how she was being raped and this is a very traumatic and depressed experience to go through. Well, many of you had watched me in the national tv and I re-enacted my accident scene. It was very depressing and I did cried before and after the re-enactment. It was very scary.

And this is not the worst.

Usually, if the authorities want to charge the suspect (who committed the rape on Girl A), they have to bring the suspect to court to charge him.

To press criminal charges against the suspect in court, it has to be proven BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT to overcome the presumption that the suspect is innocent until proven guilty.

And in this event, the suspect (in this case is known as the Defendant) is usually represented by the defence council (lawyer) and the defence council’s purpose is to cast doubt(s) in court.

Usually this is the most devastating traumatic time for the victim (Girl A). In other words, Girl A will be put in the witness stand and the defence council will cross examine her in the (open) court. And Girl A is going through the same rape over and over again in a “PUBLIC” manner. And at times, defence council may break her down so that her evidence(s) is of reasonable doubt(s).

This is not a joke. You can imagine the pain in Girl A.

This also explained why victims of sexual assault sometimes do not want to report this crime to authorities and keep to themselves and then blame themselves.

Because many of these cases are not reported to the authorities, we presumed that our environment is very same and we are thus in this “comfort zone” and think to ourselves “This won’t happen to me one la!!!”

Similar to road traffic accidents, we will also think “This won’t happen to me one la!!!” – Then why you need to belt up when in the vehicle. Many of us would say this is because it is a requirement by law and if we kenna caught not belting up in car, we will kenna fined and so belt up is for the purpose of not getting a fine. Having gone through a terrible accident myself, seatbelts are very important as they saved lives during any emergencies.

Likewise in Self Defence, in the event if you meet any life threatening situations or circumstances where you are left with no choice but to fight, with Self Defence knowledge and techniques, we increase our chances of winning – as in to get out of life threatening situations and to protect yourself.

Thus, self defence is unlike Martial Arts, we are not training you to be a Ultimate Fighter where you win everybody in any fight.

Always keep in mind that there is always a risk in all fights. There is no guaranteed system of fighting or self defence techniques that guarantee you to win. Learning self defence is only for the purpose of increasing your chances of survival during any emergency situations situations and also to keep fit. I learned to walk again through practicing of self defence – mainly karate and aikido.

For this upcoming fund raising campaign for Sexual Assault Care Centre, I came up with this idea of myself conducting self defence workshop (Theme “Self Defence against Sexual Assault”).

There are basically 2 responses.

First response – Friends came up to me and gave good comments and supported me and this encourages me as they believe in me and they know that I have no experience in conducting any self defence workshop. Furthermore, they asked if they can send their children especially their daughters to the workshop. Of course, this workshop is open for everyone.

Second response – You sure you can teach? Why not let your sensei do it? Sure or not? You walk already got problem and yet teach? You stupid double WHITE Belt!!!

For the first response, thank you very much in your support and believing in me.

For the second response, am I able to conduct a good self defence workshop? Honestly, I don’t know. Just like when I was a handicapped – Am I able to walk again? Just like the Girl A as above – Is she able to get out of her darkness? WE ALL DON’T KNOW!!!!

The only thing that we know is that if we don’t start to do anything about anything, its forever “I DON’T KNOW!!!” All of us need to get out of our comfort zone and start improving and result is always not the importance – It is that we had tried.

If I didn’t start to approach and learn karate, till now I still think “Am I able to walk again?” I don’t know.

If Girl A don’t get any professional help, till now she still think “I don’t know how long I gotta suffer this.”

Why I choose to teach or conduct self defence workshop?

Because I love my friends, relatives, families and clients.

Being a victim of a devastating accident and also helping some victims of sexual assault, I know how it is like to go through all these pains.

Thus, learning self defence is just like wearing a seatbelt while in a car. Best is that we don’t need to use them. This is just for our own safety in case of any emergency.

Just like being a Yin feng shui practitioner, I always wanted everyone (clients, friends, relatives and families) to enjoy a good and smooth journey or life and to ensure that nothing bad major strikes them. Conducting a self defence workshop is to impart skills to everyone just in case of any misfortune or emergency happening to them.

Yup, I might have throw this self defence workshop to my Senseis and let them conduct. I have discussed with them and they have given me the blessing of conducting self defence workshop. Because self defence is normally for a (weaker) person to defend himself against (usually a stronger) attacker. I am now inherently weak (due to my accident) and if I can learn self defence, why not you? :)

However, if you want to be a ultimate fighter, please approach my Senseis. I don’t train anyone to be a ultimate fighter.

I only hope to share with you all some self defence techniques so you can use them whenever in need to protect yourself, your property and your loved ones. You can also treat this self defence workshop or future workshops (if any) as a form of exercise to keep fit and also to laugh at me and have some fun.

And please stay tuned for more upcoming stories…

For this journal, there is no support ccfong.com

There is this fund raising campaign and me conducting my very first self defence workshop.

Here is the link for you all to support

http://sacc.causevox.com/ccfong

Hope you have enjoyed this journey.

As at for now, this is Fong Chun Cheong, going to train harder under my senseis for the workshop, signing off…..

*****************sign off*********************

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