Finally, the story of Ghost Wife is coming to an end…
Today I will narrate about how the marriage was conducted for this couple – Uncle and Ghost Wife. As the Ghost wife can be seen by a Yin fellow (i.e. myself), the way the marriage is being performed is a little different from the traditional way.
I will touch on the traditional way of marriage – the Chinese Custom.
A marriage of the death can be in this 3 combinations:
(i) A living bridegroom marrying a deceased bride;
(ii) A deceased bridegroom marrying a living bride; or
(iii) Both are deceased.
The common reason of this kind marriage (A living marrying a dead) can be mainly both the bride and bridegroom knew each other before one party passed away due to whatsoever reasons. Then they proceed on with the marriage.
Seldom there are cases where the living and the dead do not know each other before one party passes on. Very rare.
There are also such cases where both the bride and bridegroom do not know each other. Let’s say both parties (bride and groom) are deceased. They may meet each other in the afterworld, fell in love with each other and wished to get married as though they weren’t dead. The rationale behind this is to get the ancestor’s / family’s blessing(s). What they will do is they somehow cast a dream to their individual parent(s) / family member(s) stating that (1) they are getting married with who and (2) who is the spouse to be and (3) where (the address) to locate the parents / family members of the spouse – or state a place to meet and (4) when as in the date they want the marriage to take place. Then their parents would carry out the instructions in the dream and would try to locate the other side parents. When they meet one another, they will tell one another about the similar dream they have and confirmed that the dream is real.
Then marriage proceeds.
Usually, people cannot see the dead and thus they will use a live Chicken together with a tablet to represent the deceased. If one party is deceased, then use one Chicken and if two are deceased then two Chickens. Besides using Chickens, paper humans, wooden dolls, etc. can be used.
The usual tradition is also being observed. Real Dowry and gifts are being exchanged before the marriage e.g. 过大礼, etc. This is a symbol that the bridegroom is of a financial stability to take care of the bride and normally the bridegroom’s parents will return a portion of the gifts to the bride as a symbolic representation that they are not “selling” away their daughters.
During the marriage ceremony, the car door opening is also a must. The person who opens the car door must guide the deceased to proceed to the house, etc.
A feast is provided to celebrate the newly wed couples and the “serve tea” session is a must.
“Serve Tea” session – If one party is alive, the alive must kneel before the parents or elderly and drink the tea and afterwhich, he / she must assist the deceased to “drink” the tea by usually pour the tea on the floor. If both parties are deceased, then the bestman and bestmaid have to assist the couples to dink the tea by pouring the tea on the floor.
Dragon and phoenix candles are to be lit too. These candles must be lit by respective parents as a representation of acceptance of son / daughter in law.
After the whole ceremony is conducted, the tablet that represents the spouse must always be put in the house as an altar.
Warning – This kind of spiritual or ghost marriage must be conducted in the presence of either an experienced Yin feng shui practitioner or Taoist priest. Failure of any procedure in the marriage can lead to a curse in the family.
Back to the Ghost Wife Story.
My uncle is the bridegroom and “大姐” (the Ghost wife) is the bride – deceased where the presence can be felt by my uncle and seen by me. So it was much easier.
As the bride’s side does not have any family members, dowry and gifts were being substituted by those paper ones and were burnt as a form of gifts to the nature at large as a celebration and uncle’s financial stability.
The wedding was taken place in my house on a Saturday evening.
My uncle had a bestman with him and a matchmaker, a one 70 year old auntie, was there to “guide” the Ghost Wife on how to proceed from downstairs (bus-stop) to my house. The match maker held a paper umbrella (picture as below) and shelter the newly weds from the bus stop back to my house.
While in the house, the dragon phoenix candles were being lit up by an elderly and all family members were to hide in the rooms and cannot see the newly couple entering the house. Only a handsome smart tall guy that is me is in the living room to welcome the newly weds.
Once the newly weds enter the house and being seated on a “couple” chairs, family members and friends were allowed to come out from hiding to celebrate the wedding.
Serve Tea sessions were observed and a feast was thrown out for us to makan as a form of celebration. The Ghost wife was happy and filled with tears and it did show in the phoenix candle. The way the phoenix candle is being burnt, it looks as if tears were fallen down.
My uncle bought her a ring and named the Ghost wife “小芙蓉”.
Distance between two hearts (even though both are in different worlds) is never an obstacle; rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be…
My series of Ghost Wife story is dedicated to my uncle and his wife (小芙蓉) and wishes them happily ever after and they will meet face to face in the future
Here marks the end of the Ghost Wife series and hope you have enjoyed the story so far. I welcome any questions regarding this area and I will address them in a story form.
Look forward to your questions.
Next, I am intending to write about dreams that I have many requests for me to explain about dreams.
Please stay tuned for more stories!!!!
As at now, this is Fong Chun Cheong, learning to walk again, signing off.